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I get paid monthly, for this month, I will get paid on Sept. 15.

I owe my mom $300 (to pay bills).

Credit card: about $310

I need $60 to make my monthly loan payment,

$35 for the phone bill,

and at least $200 for gas for the next 4 wks.

I just want to cry. It annoys me so incredible much when people say money doesn’t matter- YES IT DOES BITCH, HOW ELSE ARE WE GOING TO MAKE A LIVING, PAY BILLS AND ALL THIS NONSENSE. EVERYTHING COSTS MONEY. EVERY.THING.

$1.94 in the bank account and $3 in my pocket.

I ate some Red Baron cheese pizza, some Doritos and a Magnum ice cream bar. fuck.

I just realized that I forgot to weigh myself this morning. FUCK. I guess I’ll do it tomorrow morning.

I started work on Wed and it’s killing me in so many ways. 

SO.MUCH.ANXIETY.

Does anyone here know how to stretch out canvas shoes?

I had ordered some Vegan Macbeth shoes online and they’re really tight to walk in and before you ask, YES-they are my size. I always have this issue with any new shoes I buy but this one takes the cake. Dammnit, I only have one other pair I can use, and they’re getting pretty worn out.

Yesterday was the last day of the 30 Day Shred. I see no real change in my body, didn’t measure myself though. Anyway, I weighed myself and on FRI 07.27.12 and it came out to 169.3, not much difference since I was 170 when I started it.

Taking a break today and tomorrow from the gym.

Tomorrow is the last day of the 30 Day Shred Level 3 and my weekly weigh-in. I’m scared ngl, I feel like I’ve eaten more since I started weighing myself weekly. I guess I ate less knowing I was going to go on the scale the day after.

FUCK. I feel so incredible unproductive and apathetic.

Work starts next week and I haven’t worked on my internship project for this past week, WTF is wrong with me?! Why can’t I care?!!

So I worked out for about 5 hrs. on SAT morning. 3 hrs cardio + strength + spin class at the gym. I got home and did the Level 3 of the 30 Day Shred, then I did the other Jillian Michaels “fat boost metabolism” (?) video on youtube-I did about 90% of the 45 minute workout because the videos weren’t loading all the way and it was just pissing me off.

I woke up on Sunday sore as hell. Feels good though.

07.20.12 FRI weigh-in: 169.8 FFFFFFUUUUU

well so much for breaking that plateau.

Today was the 3rd day of Level 3 of the 30 Day Shred and shit there are some moves I just cannot do, like the “rockstar jumps” or the plank w/ weights- for some reason I just cannot lift my right arm up. at. all. or the “superman,” I feel like a massive log.